What is the definition of a win? In an ideal situation, avoiding or escaping the encounter is winning. Communication and de-escalation techniques are one of the most important skills that you can have. More importantly is the ability to identify behavioral indicators of violence. With a clear understanding of why this behavioral leakage occurs you will be able to predict with a high degree of scientific probability another person’s intent to hurt you. APEX DSCRN (Discern)
As a teacher, I am very careful with my words because students will grasp onto, cling to and internalize their personal interpretation of subjective words like “win”. The word, “win”, has an emotional and psychological component. People tend to equate effort exerted to winning, and even worse, somehow get the feeling that they “deserve” to win because they have devoted a certain amount of effort toward their cause. (Children, in sports, feel they deserved to win because of their efforts.)
This is a dangerous thought process. In the real world of violence, ‘deserve’ carries no merit. A predator places no value on their victim’s life or well-being.
In a truly violent confrontation, facing serious injury or death, you have to be single-minded. You have to be focused on the business at hand, millisecond-by-millisecond, immersed in the immediacy.
To permit your mind to stray toward the elusive definition of a ‘win’, particularly in the midst of combat, is to lose the focus necessary to meet the demands of the moment; that is to keep the heart beating and the brain waves functioning.
Winning, in any particular event, is defined in accordance with the nature of the conflict. That is to say, in some cases, winning would be remaining with a heartbeat and brainwaves. In other circumstances, winning may be only losing one limb, or one eye, or the use of a given faculty.
In the best-case scenario, winning could be defined by not having engaged in physical combat. Always the best to hope for but as Lt. Col. Dave Grossman says, “Hope is not a tactic.” So, we train.
Some claim, “Escaping is winning.” We do not always have the ability or the opportunity to escape. An ill-timed attempt to disengage or escape can cost you the battle. Passing up an opening for a decisive win can cost you the battle. Avoiding and disengaging are skills in and of themselves. Because of this, we prepare for the worst.
More accurately, in combat we prevail or we are victorious. These words more accurately capture the costs associated with triumph. Victory implies that there has been a significant investment or that cost or even suffering associated with it.
It is said that victory can be accompanied by strong feelings of elation or joy. This may be so, at times. However, even a fight for due or just cause can leave a bad taste in your mouth. Think of verbal conflicts that you have experienced. Even though you may have been righteous in your cause or argument, the conflict itself can come at a psychological or emotional toll.
Interpersonal conflict, especially violent conflict, is toxic. When it is time to be violent, it should be done with whole-hearted commitment. It should be done with purposeful and deliberate skill.
Your Combat Coach